Completely Insane
by SimplyShawna
Summary: An inpired story, not true. "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson.
1. Chapter 1 : The End

**A/N: I would like everyone to note that this story is NOT true, and it was inspired by "Speak" by Laurie Halse Anderson. Please enjoy and review.**

* * *

I screamed into my fluffy red pillow on my futon. As I scream, loud but muffled, tears stream down my face. I already know that my mascara is smeared. Crying and running-more like sprinting _uber_ fast-doesn't help the makeup situation.

Sometimes in life, we stumble upon a crisis. But apparently, life doesn't have time to help me solve mine this time.

There is nothing. I am nothing. Nothing, but invisible. Sometimes, I enjoy being invisible, to them. People say to embrace your problems head on. I say "fuck them" and run. Some say you learn from your mistakes, this was no mistake. I did nothing_. Exactly_, I think to myself. _I __**did **__do nothing._

I can't believe that summer is already gone. Has it only been a month? Did I really lose all of my friends in a month? But were they really my friends? Obviously not if they never came looking for me.

This is wrong, so wrong. Why do my parents hate me so much? Why can't I transfer to another school? Oh, that's right. I didn't tell them about the party, the drinking and…

I am 13 years old and I was raped. I'd finally admitted it, to myself.

Life comes unexpected. Everything is unexpected.

I hate what I'm wearing; once again my parents hate me. My mother made me wear an ugly skirt for the first day of school. I snuck a pair of my favorite jeans into my pack for when I enter the school.

I rush outside to not miss the bus. I am the first stop. The bus seats are empty. I decide to sit in the middle. Gradually, time passes and all of the kids are on the bus and we arrive at the school.

My brow furrows, I sigh and stand up. My stomach is heaving its way up my throat. It's flipping and flopping as I step from the bus to the sidewalk.

_There's no avoiding it, yet._

I walk into the school filled with teenagers. I feel completely small. Why did my father have to give me his short genes? But it's not like I want to be giant. Just tall enough that I don't need my mother to reach stuff on my shelves.

I find my locker and as I'm turning my combination I'm glancing around looking for my friends. Oops, I'm mean _ex-_friends. I don't see any of them but I see IT. I gulp so hard that it feels like I have my own Adams-apple. My eyes almost bulge from my sockets. I get shivers all up and down my body. We almost locked eyes for a split second and then I was running.

I darted down the hall and to the right, then to the left. I ran straight into the girl's bathroom and hid in a stall.

It was kind of stupid, I mean boys weren't allowed in the girl's bathroom anyways, but I felt sort of safe here.

I started to breathe normally soon.

After about ten minutes of deep breathing I decided I'd better go straight to my first period. Before I exit the bathroom, I look both ways, just like when I was a kid crossing the street.

I made a mad dash for my first class when I hit something. Something very hard and very solid. I stumble to the floor. Confused, I look up and see IT.

IT smiles at me widely. I can't breathe. I try to scurry away, crawl if I have to but he squats and dips his head. "What ya doin?" He smiles again. My jaw locks.

I slide back a few steps from him and stand by myself. My teeth grind together as he steps forward with his hand reaching. "What's wrong? Why were you running?" I don't say a word. I won't even part my lips to breathe.

Although, it _is _rather difficult to breathe with a stuffy nose from a summer cold, I still won't breathe. It's weird to get sick during the summer but rarely in the winter. IT is still standing across from me. I bolt. I am, once again, running for my life.

I didn't think I could run as fast as I was. And I didn't think I'd end up on the track team either. As I was running, I bumped into the track coach. Crap.

"Wow" she said. "I don't know why you're running, and it's no good in the halls," she scolded. "But, I think you should be on the team!" she was _too_ overwhelmed.

And I was stuck. My mouth didn't even open. Still clamped shut from IT.

Coach gave me a get-away pass from trouble and detention and an info paper for track. As soon as she was out of sight, I ditched the papers and ran more.

I figured I might as well just leave school before IT shows up again.

As I ditched school, I started to wander down town. Not knowing where I was going was a good feeling.

I couldn't go home, and school was not an option; as of right now. I would have to find something else to do while my parents are at work.

I felt as though, I could not get away any faster. I felt as if IT were right behind me. I decided to check. _Eeep_! He was. Oh, crap.

My heart started race even harder. My breath was raspy and loud. I was already sprinting; I ducked behind a corner and sat down behind a trash bin.

"Phew. I think I lost him," I thought aloud.

I heard footsteps and covered my mouth with both hands. My eyes felt as though they could pop out of my head at any minute.

The footsteps halted. I dared not to breathe. Then the feet began to move again, in my direction.

Eric Tomlinson stopped right in front of the alley I was in. Good thing I was behind this big, old, dirty, not to mention _extremely _smelly trash bin.

A tear ran down my face as I thought, _not again, please God, not again._ I gulped as Eric moved quieter toward my direction. My lip started to tremble.

Eric was almost standing completely in front of me, but then he kicked the trash bin and I accidently let loose of my mouth and let out a blood curdling scream.

Eric grabbed the trash bin and whipped it out from in front of me.

I had covered my head after I screamed, and Eric said "Hey you." Just the way he said it made me want to scream again.

Suddenly someone ran around the corner. "What do you think you're doing? Get the hell away from her! NOW!" I don't know who this lady was but I was grateful.

"Hey, hey. I was just helping her back to school."

The lady scoffed, "Yeah, right. Now, beat it kid." All I heard was Eric's feet walk swiftly away and then another pair closer to me.

I curled deeper into a ball, hoping to not be noticed. I tightened my grip around my legs when the feet got closer.

"Hello? It's alright now, I promise, I won't hurt you." She sighed. "My name is Kelly Albright. I work just around the corner. I saw you running and heard you scream."

I finally decided to look up, but stay in my ball of confinement. I slowly raised my eyes from beneath my long, blonde hair; which was blocking my vision, along with the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Kelly wasn't that tall or short. She was very lean but looked like she could hold her own. She had short cropped, black hair that curled under her ears. She was also very pretty, which I hadn't expected, especially not the way she was yelling at Eric.

I raised my head more this time. "That's better, now isn't it?"

I could finally see Kelly's full face by the time my head was completely parallel to the ground. She had big, doe brown eyes and skinny eyebrows. I noticed her outfit too. She was wearing a tan skirt, and a pink blouse.

"Will you tell me your name, please?" Kelly's voice was so polite that it worried me a bit. She sounded like one of those villains in a comic book, who pretended to be nice to the babies, and then stole their candy.

My jaw locked shut.

She saw my jaw flex, "Well, then, can I help you up? You're going to get awfully dirty down there." She seemed irritated by the fact of me not wanting to speak, at all. I didn't care.

She reached out her short arm toward me. I surveyed her hand. It was small, pale and her nails were painted a pinkish blue.

I ignored her hand and let go of my legs. I placed my hands on the nasty ground and stood up. I wiped my hands on my jeans quickly.

Kelly looked even more irritated that I ignored her completely. She shrugged a tad.

I didn't move from the wall as Kelly started walking toward the sidewalk. I almost felt like curling back into my ball and just laying there forever. I _still _didn't care.

Kelly noticed it was only her feet she heard and she glanced back over her shoulder. "Well, aren't you coming? You've got to be freezing and hungry."

When I finally decided it was okay, I peeled myself from the hard, cold stone wall. I slowly walked to Kelly. She was appeased. But I was NOT talking, period, and I think she realized that.

"Okay, well since you won't talk to me, how about I'll only ask yes or no questions. Fair?"

I contemplated that for a minute. Then nodded.

Kelly grinned wide. Why is she so happy, _it's disgusting_. I thought.

"Good," she beamed.

We walked around the corner into a small office.

When we walked in, it was small, but very cozy. The sign on the door read "Tom's Laws"; I assumed that meant a lawyer's office. I'd never noticed it here. _Hmmm._

Kelly directed me to the back room. "Here, have a seat and I'll get you something to eat and drink." She pulled out a big chair and I sat down. I put my head on my arms on the table silently.

The backroom was bigger than the main room. There was a huge table smack dab in the middle. This seemed like a conference room to me. Only, there were microwaves, coffee machines and a refrigerator.

Kelly was standing at the fridge, and then walked to the microwave. It beeped three times, and then she opened the door.

She walked back over to with a plate of macaroni and cheese and a cup of milk. "Here you go." I nodded for 'thank you'.

After I was done eating and drank all of the milk, Kelly threw out the paper cup and plate. "Won't you please tell me your name? Or something?" I shook my head. I wished she'd left me alone outside.

I happened to glance at the clock on the other side of the room. I gasped aloud. It was almost five o'clock. I stood up and started out of the room. Kelly called after me. "Wait, wait! Where are going?"

I ignored her and dashed out of the office.

_Go straight home_, at least that's what I hoped for.

I was 4 blocks away from home, but I was exhausted so I slowed down to a walk. It was twilight now, and I was kind of scared. Everything made me scared now since _that night._

Every minute or so, I'd glance behind me to make sure nothing was there.

Twenty minutes passed and so did a block or two. I was thinking about jogging again, but my legs throbbed in pain, I could barely walk anyways. I was a good runner, but my legs gave out easily fast.

I thought I saw a dark figure standing in front of me, ten feet away, but I wasn't sure until IT grabbed me and covered my mouth with his huge monkey hands.

My screams were muffled. I twisted and turned as he knocked me to the ground. We landed on the grass lawn of someone's.

I tried to kick, but that was useless. I tried to smack, but his other monkey hand grabbed my wrist and held it to the ground.

His dark, velvet voice spoke. "Quit running."

I squealed. "No, no you don't," he laughed darkly and tightened his grip.

I started crying again. The tears streamed down my face and ran over his hand. A tear slipped through his fingers and touched my lips.

I nonchalantly reached into the back pocket of my shorts and found a pocket knife. As I realized what it was, I tried to open it.

Successfully, twisting and turning the knife and my body from Eric, I opened the small, but useful pocket knife and placed it under Eric's jaw.

He soon realized what it was and stared into my eyes. He slowly let go of my wrist and then my mouth.

I didn't once let go of the knife to his throat. I could puncture it at any moment.

The tears were still streaming their way down my face. Eric started to back away.

"No." was all I said. Too bad it was a shaky 'no'.

He looked at me, "What? You're going to kill me now? You know you had fun that night. You _wanted_ it."

And that's when I lost it.

I let out another cold, blood curdling, and hair-raising scream.

I was gripping the knife so much that my knuckles throbbed. But I was not concerned about my hand at all.

All of the sudden, Eric tackled me and grabbed my hand. We wrestled and wrestled. I was _not_ giving up this time.

"No. No. NO! GET OFF OF ME!" The tears were unstoppable at this point.

I finally got to the point of anger and I pushed all of my weight and rolled Eric over, and then had the knife at his throat. I was pushing it to his skin.

My breath was loud and fast.

I raised the knife, and brought it down to this chest just once. And that was the end of it.

* * *

**A/N: There will be more added to this story, I promise. I had stopped it here, but I felt it NEEDED to be continued. Review please, thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2 : Color Coated Context

**A/N: I'm glad some of you are enjoying this. I hope everyone begins to like where it goes. I'm working hard on all of my stories, bare with me.**

**As always, I do not own "Speak", but I do own _this_. :)**

* * *

I grabbed the knife and walked silently away from his lifeless body.

He could do no more harm to me. Everything was over.

No. No, it wasn't.

The sirens rang as I ran home.

When I'd finally made it home, my parents were long gone. Who knew when they'd be home?

I went straight to my bedroom to remove my clothes at once and shower away everything.

Not sure what to do with the pocket knife, I rinsed it off in my bathroom sink and placed it back into my top drawer.

I went back into the bathroom, naked, and got into the shower.

It was hot, steaming hot, the way I liked it…now.

When I turned around for the water to hit my back, I looked at my hands. They were covered in blood. Oh, my god. They were shaking, hard, as I placed them quickly under the hot water.

I stared at the bloody water for moments, waiting for it to go down the drain.

When it finally did, I finished in the shower and dried off.

I curled into my bed, wearing my old pajama's I'd gotten three Christmas' ago from Nana.

A chain saw broke my sleep the next morning "Ah!" I screamed when it revved up. My chest rose and fell fast from fright.

I propped myself up on my elbows in bed. I wondered if my parents were home yet.

I found my clock's digital time, _7:37 a.m_. _Stupid time. _I'd gotten home only 5 hours ago.

The sirens were still going when I closed my eyes and it surprised me that I'd even slept.

A banging on my door restarted my heart. I jumped in my bed and said quietly, "Come in."

My dad walked through the door with a terrified face on. "Mel? Do you know what happened last night? Cops are all over the neighborhood." I shook my head. That was a lie.

I decided internally that last night never happened. _That night_ never happened.

_Nothing happened…at all_, I thought.

My dad was still staring at me, while he thought about the cops I suppose. I stared back. Eventually he said "Kay" and walked out. Sigh.

I tried to go back to sleep, not even a minute passed before I jumped from the bed and went to the kitchen.

My mom, the accountant, was rounding _more _numbers. _Ugh_. She liked her job more than she liked being home. And I blamed my father. My mostly drunk, jobless, fuck face of a father; he disgusted me.

Sometimes I wished he'd never even come back. And then I blamed my mother for accepting him back. _Ugh_. I rolled my eyes behind my glasses.

I strode passed my mother, concentrated on work and grabbed my favorite box of cereal, _Captain Crunch: Peanut Butter_.

Grabbed the milk from the fridge, poured the cereal and milk in and then I grabbed a spoon and walked swiftly back upstairs, silently.

My parent's never reproduced more than me, and for that I was grateful. I could sit in my room, undisturbed by anyone. My parent's rarely-if ever-saw me from my room. If so, and I accidently passed them in the hall or the stairs they'd always state, "It's alive!" and laugh.

I munched on my cereal and stared blankly at my pink wall. I kind of wanted to repaint and redecorate my room. _Hmm, maybe like a sea foam green or oooh! Eggplant!_

But unfortunately redoing my room would involve speaking with my parents, which wasn't going to happen. So, goodbye dreams of a new room.

A knock at my door and my mother appeared.

"Mornin' stranger." I looked to her and gave a small fake smile and then kept eating.

"Well," she paused and I looked at her again. She glanced around my room. "I'm done with work for the day, and it's only started," she laughed. "I was thinking we could go shopping and maybe paint your room?"

I stared at her and my mouth dropped. _What the fuck? _My spoon plopped into my bowl of mostly milk. A dropped landed on me.

"Okay." I said. My voice was rough and scratchy.

She smiled and didn't even notice my reaction to her question because she kept looking around my dirty room. "Okay, get ready and we'll leave in an hour then." I nodded; she smiled and closed my door behind her.

We walked into Lowes and went straight to the paint section. _This is __**so**__ weird._

"Morning ladies, can I help you find anything?" A store guy had spotted us. He had that cheesy I-need-this-job-for-rent smile on. _Ew_. People were disgusting, I hated everyone.

"What color did you want, Mel?" My mom looked down to me.

"Eggplant and sea foam green."

The store was huge, but the guy found us the paint strips in no time. My mom told me to choose which shades I liked best. I pointed to the rich eggplant one.

"We'll take this one." She handed him the strips back. He went back down the aisle, we followed.

"How many gallons?" he asked, reaching for the buckets. Mom told him 2 of each.

We checked out and went to Wal-Mart. My mother insisted I get new bedding as well and maybe a chair or couch to make it "look right".

We picked out eggplant bedding with tan underlines and pattern in the middle. More pillows for my room, which matched the bedding. And a couple that were sea foam green as well. They "complimented the room". _Sigh._

Afterward we went to the chair section. I picked out a light sea foam green lounge chair. I pressed on it with my first two fingers to make sure it wasn't too hard or really soft. I felt like Goldilocks. It was just right.

I pushed the cart full of my pillows, bedding, curtains and sheets. Mom had to carry the box of my chair because it wouldn't fit in the cart. I laughed, which was unusual. My mom had looked at me weird.

When we got home, we ate lunch then "got crackin'" as my father put it. I rolled my eyes and went to my room.

We took down my posters, pictures and curtains. Then we pulled my old bedding off and pushed my bed out in the hall. I hoped I wasn't going to have to sleep out there.

Panting, we took a break. It was nearly 3 in the afternoon. But we got a lot accomplished. When I say 'we', I mean my mother and myself. My dad bailed after the posters for "a job interview".

At 4 we started painting and didn't stop until around 7 or 8, I was unsure. We stood back and looked at our work. "Wow" I said almost silently. My mom glanced at me, "I know."

The way the late summer night sun hit the eggplant was amazing. And the sea foam green just complimented it. I was glad I chose these colors. I hadn't even figured if they would go together.

We waited a couple hours for it to dry, but mom told me to just sleep in the spare room down the hall for the night. But I was unsure of how I was supposed to reach the room; my bed covered the entire hallway. Maybe I'd just fall asleep on my bed.

As I crawled over my bed to reach the other side of the hall, I realized how tired I was and completely relaxed on my bed.

I curled up into a ball once more and drifted to unconsciousness.

It was as if my dreams had reminded me of what happened 3 ½ months ago and just 2 days ago.

"_Hey" he whispered in my ear. "What are you doing all by your lonesome?"_

_Holy hell, he's fucking hot! "I'm not alone, my friends are inside." His arms slid around me, gently and he breathed a hot, heavy breath in my ear again._

"_Well, I'll keep you company." He smiled as I looked at him._

I jolted up from my sleep, panting again. My eyes roamed the hallway frantically. _Alone, good._ I swallowed hard as I tried to control my breathing.

Before I knew it, I was unconscious again, but was thankful it was a different dream. You know, I never did believe all this bullshit about "every dream lasts 3 seconds" whatever.

_He looked at me, "What? You're going to kill me now? You know you had fun that night. You __**wanted**__ it."_

_"No. No. NO! GET OFF OF ME!" I screamed at him._

It seemed as if the dreams kept replaying over and over and _over _again in my head as I slept in the dark, hollow hallway.

My Dad shouting at the TV startled me awake this morning, or I should late, _late _morning.

Basically the whole upper part of the house was mine, and I enjoyed that. Every now and again my parents would fight and Dad would sleep in the spare room, that was normal and routine; but everything was mine.

It wasn't like we had a huge house, just 4 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms; plus a small basement/laundry room.

There were 2 of the bedrooms upstairs: mine and the spare, plus my connecting bathroom, which connected to the hallway as a public restroom.

The main floor had my parents' room and their same connection-like bathroom as mine. And then there was the basement.

It was carpeted, red and shaggy-like, and had wool paneled walls all around; until we redid it. Now it's dark, wood paneling and white carpet, but the small-er laundry part of it is complete cement. I loved doing laundry on hot summers, the cool cement felt so good on the soles of my feet and toes.

I got up, finally, from my smushed bed in the cramped hallway and walked straight into my bathroom.

After I took care of my morning bladder, I gazed at my newly painted room. It looked pretty because of the morning sun.

I went down stairs to my kitchen for a brunch. I gazed at the microwave, _1:14 p.m_. Okay, lunch then.

I made a sandwich and silently made my way back up to my makeshift room in the middle of the hall. I crossed my legs as I sat down on my bed.

Momentarily, my Mother came half way up the stairs until she spotted me on my bed.

"What are you doing? You were supposed to sleep in the guest room." She stopped and then continued up the stairs to stand in front of me as I chewed my bread and meat.

I wasn't completely sure if I was being scolded or she was making it that I was a child. _Fucking moronic people for parents, I'd say._

I shrugged, "Didn't want to." And kept eating away at my sandwich.

My Mother shook her head and went into my room. "Well, I guess we can put everything back in here…when you shower and everything. I'm running down to the store. Ask you Father to help until I get back." and then she walked swiftly down the stairs.

I assumed she told me to ask my bullshit daddy to help, because all I hear from my parents is buzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I barely catch anything they say, but they're parents and they're typical responses.

I admit it's not so much of a buzz sound; it's more of a _Charlie Brown_ wah wah-wah wah-wah sound.

I rolled my eyes as I threw my plate away and grabbed a glass of tea before returning to my bedroom.

My Father continued to shout at the television as I put my room together.

After I got my new chair and poster back up, I pulled my bed into my room.

"Mel, what ya doin'?" My 'father' called up to me. I realized that I was blaring my music and making a lot of noise.

"My room!" I called down. And there was silence from him afterward.

My parent's rarely ever spoke unless needed, so it didn't surprise me that my Dad didn't come up to help or ask me about it.

Some days I just we was never there, period.

I stood in my room as I'd finally finished it. Unfortunately, my Mother was right. The sea foam green things really did compliment the rich eggplant walls.

I plopped down on my bed and closed my eyes. Just as I closed them, _his _face appeared and my eyes flashed open.

I couldn't close my eyes or look at anything without seeing him. His blood on my hands, his cold dead face.

_No!_ I told myself, _you're not guilty!_

A part of me believed myself, could I really becoming this insane to not believe my own thoughts?

If anything, I should feel relieved. If anything, I should be happy he's dead. But I think about his family, his parents.

_No, Melodie, you're not guilty. You did the world a favor._

I tried so hard to believe myself, but it was unbearable.

I am a murderer.

* * *

**A/N: I hope you all enjoyed this one. Kinda boring, but it's getting good, I promise. :) Dark minded people will understand. (: Review puh lease!**


End file.
